"Who is that lone man, that solitary figure walking relentlessly through the streets of New York: burdened with a backpack, laden with chocolate, burning with a love for cake unrivaled in the history of agentdom?

"It is Joshua Bilmes, the legendary agent and raconteur, he of the sardonic snorty laugh and encyclopedic knowledge of the city; he, yes, he of the close-cropped brown curls and lanky build. Instantly recognizable to one and all by means of his dulcet voice, Bilmes, otherwise known as Walking Man, roams Manhattan striking fear into the hearts of editors everywhere. Underneath his disguise of rumpled shirt and trousers, gleaming shoes and heavily laden pack, lurk the instincts of a shark and the memory of an elephant.

"When the writer trembles -- uncertain of advances, or the contract in front of her, or wondering vaguely where the heck her money is -- who does she call? Walking Man! Who returns her call the very same day? Yes, it is Walking Man! The model of what an agent should be . . . it is he! Yes, it is he!"

"I can easily remember the first time I realized what I'd gotten myself into--my "Joshua Initiation", if you will. It happened on the evening when I signed my first book contract with Tor. Joshua and I had a nice dinner, then went out to celebrate in true Joshua style: By going to visit bookstores!

"I can't detail what happened in those stores for fear of getting Joshua into trouble with several corporate or governmental entities. Suffice it to say that I left that evening convinced that Joshua had been raised by some secret ninja clan who's teachings focused on infiltrating and manipulating bookstore shelf stock!

"After that, we went to visit a local Kinko's so that we could make me a photocopy of the contracts before we sent them back. The cost: somewhere around forty cents. As I was leaving the shop, Joshua stopped me and asked if I'd gotten a receipt so that I could expense the copies. I pointed out that the cost had been too small to bother with. Well, Joshua marched me right back in there to get my receipt! He felt it important to make an example. No cost is too small to expense!

"The truth is, though, that Joshua is as effective as he is quirky. To date, he's taken two of the three books of mine he's worked on, and has changed them from good to excellent. He is a more helpful and useful reader than any I've ever had. He has then taken my books and been their most vigilant advocate, completely behind them. He refuses to let me do anything but my best work, and then sells that work with a professionalism and skill I have found unique in this industry.

"On top of all of this, he is a friend. I'm not just a number or a client to Joshua. He isn't about being the most powerful or important agent he can be--he's worried about doing the best he can for his authors, whatever that is. For all of these things, I wish Joshua the very most honest of thanks, and I offer my congratulations along with the others at this milestone. I don't know how we'd get along without you!"

"As a writer, Joshua Bilmes performs for me many invaluable services. As a sports fan, however, his most vital service comes with his yearly report of the US Open tennis qualifying tournament. Talent scouting seems an incurablehabit with Joshua. He does it finding new writers. He does it at the tennis. Probably he does it buying groceries, seeing which new young fruit seller pays particular care packing the apples, and knows his lemons from his limes. The talent scout's roving eye never stops.

"Once selected, these fresh new players (whether they are aware of it or not) become a part of Joshua's clientele. The ownership of discovery, you see, knows no contracts nor financial reimbursement. These young players belong to him! He takes profound personal delight in their achievements for the rest of their careers, and will shake his head in sad dismay at their failure to summit their full potential as known only to him. As one of Joshua's author-clients, this is somewhat comforting for two reasons. One, because it displays the keen eye for genius that Joshua possesses. And two, because I am constantly reassured that no matter how much I disappoint him, I can never disappoint him as much as David Nalbandian has in having not yet won a Grand Slam tournament.

"Happy 20th anniversary, Joshua!"

"In 1991 I sold my first novel to Baen Books 'over the transom.' Although I read up on the subject, I wasn't confident in my ability to negotiate a literary contract. I said as much to Marianne Dyson at the meet-the-authors party at the Chicago WorldCon. She grabbed me by the arm, dragged me across the room, and introduced me to Joshua Bilmes. Joshua offered to review the contract with me.

"That Sunday I wrote in my journal, 'Joshua says the only sticking point is the matching terms offer, the other stuff is not a problem, especially with Baen.'

"And then later that day I wrote, 'Toni (editor Toni Weisskopf) says Jim (publisher Jim Baen) agreed to lose the matching terms bit.'

"I took my girlfriend Ashley to dinner at Gibsons, then we went to Baen Books party. A celebration was going on, as Lois Bujold had just won a Hugo award. Jim Baen and I signed the contract, both of us dressed in black tie, each with a pen in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other. It was very cool.

"Alas, that night I made one more entry in my journal. 'Something is loose inside my camera.' I'll never forget the day I sold my first book, but I have no photos from it. The earliest photo I have of Joshua is from TorCon in 2003. Here it is." ((Used up top--thanks John!))

"Charlaine Harris and Lee Killough introduced me to Joshua at Malice Domestic two years ago. Tired, spacey and slightly grumpy, I'd been sitting in the bar, staring at nothing, when Lee came to get me.

"'Our agent is here and he'd like to meet you,' she said.

"My first thought was, 'Oh, no. I'm in no shape to meet anyone.' But Lee pulled at my sleeve and I followed.

"Joshua held court on a couch in the hotel lobby. Barely able to maintain eye contact, I began my litany of accomplishments in a fairly monotone voice.

"After I finished, Joshua looked at me and said -- in that voice we all know and love -- 'I feel like you should be asking ME questions. What would you like to know?'

"Those two sentences blasted me awake far better than a pail full of cold water. This guy actually cared! He wanted two-way communication. Could this be?

"Before Joshua took me on as a client, he called. I'd also had an offer of representation from another agent. Joshua and I spoke for close to an hour about my work and where I wanted to go in my career. The conversation was honest, interesting and just plain edifying.

"And, that's been my experience so far with Joshua. I feel like he's in my corner, wanting the best for me. On top of that, he has clear, articulated values and ethics out the wazoo.

"When I give talks about how to get an agent, what to look for in one, I say, 'My first was unscrupulous. My second was mediocre. And my third? I adore him. He's everything I hoped for.'

"Thank you so much, Joshua. Congratulations on your 20 years. May you have at least 20 more -- and may they be even more successful."

"Ten Reasons I'm glad Joshua Is My Agent (and has been for almost 20 years.)

#1. He's dead honest.
#2. He listens to my concerns.
#3. He tells me straight up when something stinks (goes back to #1.)
#4. He has guided me (as much as I can be guided) through several thorny thickets of publishing.
#5. He know when not to nag. Usually. (G)
#6. He is encouraging (unless something stinks--see #3 and #1)
#7. He has put up with my mistakes (both clerical and procedural.)
#8. He has never tried to push me into a project I didn't want to do, no matter how many zeros left of the decimal point were promised.
#9. His energy, his determination, and his skills are the main reason I'm now in that minority of writers who support themselves by writing.
#10. He has a sense of humor almost as wacky as mine. In any long-term relationship, all involved need to be able to see the ridiculous side of things, and he does.

"So...Happy 20th Anniversary in Agenting, and may the next 20 be even better."

"I'm willing to bet that Stanley Schmidt, editor of Analog, and I have the longest professional association with Our Joshua. As a high school student, Joshua used to write in to Analog once a month, sending long, detailed letters of comment regarding the previous issue. His thoughts were well organized and his comments cogent; I don't think I would have realized he was a high school student if he hadn't offered his services as a summer intern.

"But my favorite Joshua story involves one of the great one-liners of all time, which he delivered while I was Senior Editor at Baen Books. Baen had been in business for a couple of years in its start-up space and was ready to move to larger quarters. Joshua, who was a regular visitor and read manuscripts for us as well, was there to help pack up the office. As we loaded old manuscripts, finished books, and other memorabilia into boxes, Jim Baen reminisced over the first few years of his successful publishing venture. 'Ah, it's a walk down memory lane,' he said, looking at the piles of stuff. Joshua piped up, without missing a beat: 'Can I get you a Valium?'"

"When I started with Joshua, we were both still with the Scott Meredith Agency. Three books in, I'd already had two agents -- each of them leaving the company for their dream jobs. I don't remember exactly what job the first agent left me for but the second headed out to become an editor at Penthouse, something I certainly wasn't equipped to compete with. When I told Joshua about my tendency to lose agents to their dream job, he told me not to worry... 'Unless an opening comes up as a starting pitcher for the Mets, you're stuck with me.'"

"Joshua and I were working together even before there was a Jabberwocky. He helped me re-write Blue Moon Rising, my first best-seller, by making me take a few things out. (I of course put them back into the sequel, some years later. Waste not, want not.) He's been peering over my shoulder ever since.

"He's also sold my books in many countries and in many languages, and I think it's fair to say I wouldn't be nearly as successful as I am without him.

"When I first met Joshua, I was investigating a title controlled by an estate. They called in a painfully thin young man with a distinct, local accent and asked him about the book and the rights. He knew the details from memory. It was impressive, but assistant agents appear and disappear regularly. So I didn't think much more about that young man at the time. That was in the 1980s and not only is Joshua still an active and successful agent, but he has effectively represented my company in all foreign sales for several years now. He still has the accent, but since when he calls it normally means another sale has been made, I really look forward to hearing it."

"Joshua Bilmes is an agent no editor is likely to forget anytime soon. He knows his business, and is -- just as importantly from my point-of-view -- conscientious, which makes him one hell of an agent.

"Authors rejoice and editors beware. Congratulations on 20 years as an agent and best wishes for 20 more. Mazel Tov."

"We're proud to have been associated with Joshua for most of these past 20 years, and 19 books. He's full of good ideas and insights, has always helped us to get the best deals possible, and has never given up in terms of bringing our books back into print. Here's to the next 20 years and the next 19 books!"

"I wish the best for Joshua, one of the very few who take the time to listen to and help a client. If Joshua believes in something then he will keep at it forever, and that is a rare trait indeed. We trust Joshua because he is honest and loyal, and I can only hope that he's in it for at least another 20 years. Best of luck, Joshua, and let's hope this year is the best so far!"

"It is wonderful to see you continue in the tradition of first-rate science fiction agents who happened to get their starts at the Scott Meredith Literary Agency.

"And I congratulate you on this important 'marker' in your career and well deserved success."

"Put out the flags ! It's been twenty years of sheer gratification, a joyful ride on a path paved to the smoothest by the best of roadmen. Thanks for all the hard work making ours a constant pleasure."

"Joshua demonstrates the value of spontaneous comedy at Peat's 33rd birthday. He also illustrated how using creativity in your gift selection (he bought Peat issue #33 of some random comic book), can both amuse *and* save you money!"

"I don't get stressed out about too many things in life, but whenever I hear Joshua Bilmes say something along the lines of 'I've got a few ideas about making some changes to the manuscript...' I almost wet my pants!"

"Joshua, best wishes on another 20 years. And another 20 after that. Beyond that, however, we'll probably have to drop your head in the tank with Ted Williams."

"Blessings on your special anniversary day. We have had our ups and downs, but I appreciate your help over the years."

"Congratulations on 20 years, and best wishes for 20 more!"

"Joshua has been a great agent--not many people are interested in keeping the old writers in print, and JABberwocky has done a wonderful job. Here's to another 20 years!"

A Memory of Joshua in fake Haiku form
By Fiona Patton

Arlington.
Walking.
Hail. rain. (Maybe even snow, I forget.)
A whiny author. (That would be me.)
An agent insisting that signing books was important.

Arlington.
Driving.
Rain. (Maybe still hail.)
A carload of hungry people.
A cranky author insisting that a crappy restaurant was better than no restaurant at all. (That would be me again.)
More books to sign.
An agent almost missing a train.
A good trip.

"I knew Joshua was a different kind of agent the moment I got my first letter from him. It was a three-page rejection letter. He spent the first part of the letter telling me how awful my query letter was and that he normally threw out any query more than one page without even looking at it. Then he went on to tell me how awful the idea for my book was, that I was wasting his time just by making him read my crappy sample chapters. He closed by saying the book might--might--have some merit, but only if I considered about a dozen major revisions. I read this letter while waiting for my wife to come out of her six-month sonogram appointment. As I read the letter ten times straight through, I forgot I was having a baby. That night I worked feverishly on my response. In my humblest prose, I asked Joshua whether he might possibly consider taking another look at some chapters, once I'd made his suggested revisions. His response came back within 72 hours. 'I would be delighted,' he said."

"Joshua is everything you would want in a literary agent. First and foremost, he sells books. He diligently pursues foreign rights. He goes over contracts, maximizing advantages for his clients. But what really impresses me is the way Joshua always gets back to you. He's not my first agent so I know whereof I speak. You email him, he'll email back within the business day. You telephone, he'll call back within the business day. He believes in common office-to-office courtesy. Which sometimes is rare. Over and above this, he's a great editor. His opinions are carefully considered and backed by reasonable rationale. He recognizes strengths and weaknesses with an objective eye and is never less than honest. Which brings me to his next professional characteristic, his honesty. Not only his literary honesty, but his business honesty. He has the kind of integrity you can always trust. If all this weren't enough, he has a great sense of humor. Listen to his voicemail messages. Read the throwaways at the end of his email template. I always feel that Joshua wants to be a literary agent as much as I want to be a writer. Look up 'agent' in the dictionary and you will find Joshua's name somewhere in the definition. Joshua, congratulations on twenty great years. Here's to the next twenty!"

"Joshua's 20th anniversary in the business got me to wondering how many of those 20 years he has spent trying to drag a 'Big Book' idea out of me. (Let's just say it's still a work in progress.) I went into my files and found a contract with Scott Meredith Agency signed in 1992.

"I've gotten a hell of a kick knowing Joshua over these past 14 years, and I wish him many more years of success."

"What is it about the words 'we'll just take a quick walking tour' that now cause an irrational need to flee in me? When I was still finishing up my first novel, one that Joshua asked me to write based on a partial (!) I showed him, Joshua took me on one of his famous walking tours of Baltimore. I'm tired just writing about it. But Joshua enthusiastically dragged my sorry butt all over the harbor, showing me this and that, until I finally cried uncle and returned to my hotel room and passed out.

"From what I've heard from publishers Joshua is just as enthusiastic a negotiator as he is a walking tour guide, and it's been a great joy having him as an agent."

"Congratulations, Joshua! Keep working toward that Fiftieth!"

"Joshua is so unlike the show business concept of an agent. He is always a gentleman."

"You know what I remember most about meeting Joshua? (OK, aside from the whirlwind tour of the bookstores of downtown Seattle from a whole new perspective.) Listening in sheer terror as he joyfully dissected my manuscript at a sidewalk table in front of a Starbucks coffee stall on Seventh. There is Joshua, laughing and rocking in his chair as he tells me the ferret just has to go! 'It's like the Wizard of Oz, when Toto jumps out of the basket and attacks the witch! You've got a little bite-basket there and it's just-- it's just WRONG!' And even though he was laughing so hard that tears gathered in the corners of his eyes, I knew this was no laughing matter. And I thought 'I'm going to be represented by Woody Allen's evil cousin.'

"Congratulations on the first 20, Joshua. Looking forward to the next 20. Many thanks."

"Joshua congrats on the 20 years, I've only known you a few of those years but it seems like more. I can safely say you are the best literary agent I've ever had. You've taught me a few things: even if it's good it still might not sell, once I sign my books the stores can't return them, there's this wonderful store called, Whole Foods, and if it was up to me I'd sell my books for magic beans."

"Congratulations and many, many more years to follow!"

"Joshua is a marvel! His business savvy, his nose for a good story, and his refusal to take anything but my best inspired my paean to him in an article I wrote for Harrington's Gay Men Fiction Quarterly on successful genre publishing. But even more marvelous to me is Joshua's willingness to guide me from bookstore to bookstore to sign my books and check the orders. And at the center of all this determination and energy is one of the kindest hearts I've ever met. Congratulations on twenty excellent years, Joshua!"

"So when Russ Galen, then my agent at Scott Meredith,called me up and asked whether I thought this guy Joshua Bilmes was worth taking on at the agency, I had to say yes. One thing led to another (he was even _my_ agent briefly, during the confusion surrounding the breakup of SMLA), and how here he is with his own agency, and doing a fine job of it, too (though I do wish he'd steer Elizabeth Moon back in my direction once in a while).

"Congratulation, Joshua, and best wishes for the next twenty!"

"I met Joshua back in 1999 in, of all places, Barnes & Noble. I was a rookie bookseller, fresh to New York at the time. A friend of mine at the store introduced the two of us, and through the next five years I was one of Joshua's bookstore insiders, slipping him stock information and getting whatever he needed on shortlist. There were plenty of days during that long B&N streak when we'd just hang out in the SF section and shoot the breeze (often until one of my bosses would make nudging comments or shoot me looks to get back to work!).

"In early 2003, I fell on hard times and Joshua seemed to be quick to chime in. He offered me some part-time work reading queries and getting to know the business a little bit. I accepted and for the next year (give or take), started taking baby steps in the agenting business. And when he heard that my graduation was coming up in 2004, he asked if I'd be willing to leave the high-style B&N life and ride shotgun at JABberwocky. After some thought (I hadn't really considered agenting as a potential career--I was so new to the scene), I accepted, and it's been nearly two years as Joshua's first full-time employee. It's an experience I'm proud to be a part of: learning the industry, meeting (and working with) so many great people. I'm grateful for the opportunity Joshua has given me.

"The office is full of childhood stories. Strange enough, Joshua doesn't believe any of the stories I have of growing up in North Philly. They don't even require embellishment. That should have been made a little clear after we did a drive-by tour of the old neighborhood during PhilCon. But still, I think he disbelieves me when I say that I was a rough-neck little troublemaker like everyone else in Philly's Bad Lands. Well, Joshua, I'm pleased to say that I don't believe your stories, either...I mean, really, what kid enjoys playing games called 'Stocks and Bonds'? Pure fiction! It's probably not even a game! ;)

"Despite our disagreements to what truth is, it's been an honor working with you and a pleasure to call you friend. It's been one helluva ride these last few years. I look forward to many more.

"So, happy 20th, Joshua! May these next 20 be even more fun and exciting than the first! Remember, my 'Marketable Skills' are your marketable skills."